Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize