So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
a search helicopter?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
