So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i now understand why vodka
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
