Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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