Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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