we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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