He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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