i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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