Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
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I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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