i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So vagazzling was a success
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
