I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
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we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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