don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
