If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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