Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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