no. you can't hotbox the world.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
