I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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