you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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