The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
