i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
try to milk me bitch
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
