You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
