dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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