MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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