she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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