Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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