East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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