I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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