people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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