I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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