Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
