so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
