hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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