I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
