i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
