He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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