You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
