I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
