i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
People in love make me want to vomit
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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