My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize