So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
