I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
