Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
