You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
smell my finger.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What a dumb baby whore.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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