is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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