You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize