He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
