I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
