i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
