Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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