So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
