i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
