halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
