The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
