Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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