I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
