let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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