omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
