I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
