Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You were trust falling into bushes
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize