have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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