Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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