singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
