my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Found the puke drawer
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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