How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
