these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
