I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
